Manifesto

Unicorn Fucking is a new tendency in sexuality. One can tell this because up until now no one knew anything about it, and tomorrow everyone will be talking about it.

Unicorn Fucking has become a necessity as a natural progression of human sexuality through the postmodern, internet post feminist, post porn eras, indeed, it is now the only unexplored avenue of sexuality, a frontier given to humanity by scientific exploration in the fields of genetic engineering, for the first time allowing us to manifest the mythical beasts of the collective unconscious in corporeal form.

In the modern age we now inhabit, we are bombarded with images of every possible current possible variance and expression of sexuality and control. Highly stylized, commercialized, tailored for every possible taste save one. The last remaining blank canvas, the last frontier, that of the non-existent beast.

Unicorns, griffons, chimaera, hippogryphs, jackelopes, swamp things, minotaur, basan, churel, dullahan, the list almost limitless. It is only by pursuing fornication with these beasts that the true autonomy of the individual can be restored. It is the only path toward the ultimate actualization of the individual.

How does one achieve eternal bliss? By Unicorn Fucking. It is now the public concern of the first importance. All other avenues of sexual expression have rendered themselves passe.

Max Pivo, December 27, 2008